Finding a symptom worth getting checked"How did you know?" Is probably the most frequent question I am asked the most, in relation to the big C. Even though, I feel we are fully briefed and nagged by mainstream media to carry out monthly checks on our Breasts, I know I am not being deluded when I am assuming most women, especially around my age, do not check. Hell, I was one of them. What took me by surprise, was the fact I could NEVER feel my primary tumour just behind my left nipple, which given its size in relation to my breast is quite ridiculous, really. You would think if you have a B-cup chest, you would certainly feel a large cherry tomato knocking about in there... well no. Apologies for the cynicism here, but I honestly feel we are not warned about just how un-obvious and discreet these changes can be, even if you have 2 tumours, grade 3, stage 2, aggressive cancer... October 2015, I had just got up for work and was doing the usual 'lye here and die' for half an hour before deciding to get my lazy backside out of bed. I was lying in an awkward position, on my front, with my fingers from my right hand jammed tightly up into my left armpit. It was only when breathing out, I noticed a very small level of resistance against my middle fingertip. Slightly alarmed, but not enough to get up, I rolled over to my back and starting jamming my fingers right up under my arm, deep into the darkest parts and pushing very hard. To my (minor) shock I realised I could feel a rather modest, solid lump of tissue up there, but only slightly. This discovery was enough of a push to get my indifferent attitude to finally give myself a good check, so I sat uptight, pulled my top off and started to give my breasts the most attention I think I have ever, personally given them. Staring at myself very hard in the mirror, my main focus was checking to see if my breasts were a different shape to one another... There was nothing. I cupped both my breasts in my hands and squeezed slowly around the nipple tissue... Still nothing. Infact, both nipples looked normal, no dimpling of the skin, no tissue thickening, no unusual marks or obvious lumps. Nothing. So I put it down to nothing. By December that inconspicuous lump under my arm had grown to a more distingusehed ball of tissue, but still nothing in the breasts that I could tell. It is important to note however, that the lump under my arm may have grown but it was still completely un-obvious and tucked away and surprisingly, by the time I got to the GP in January she had difficulty finding it, but no trouble finding the one in my breast (WTF). Long story short, I had to wait a long time for my referral (that story is here) and within that time, even-though I now knew I had a sizeable lump in my left breast, I STILL could not feel it for the life of me. I even asked Nick to help check... NOTHING. What was the doctor doing that I wasn't? In detail Breast check. It was only after the tumour grew very inflamed, angry, hard and sore a few days after my Biospy I could FINALLY feel it for myself. So what was the point of this story... If you find a lump, even if it it the teeniest, most inconspicuous, squishiest, unobtrusive thing ever and doesn't fit the usual Breast Cancer description at all, for God's sake do not, do nothing and think it may go. Do not do what I did, and wait for that f***er to get ahold of your other tissue and grow big enough so you have to endure Chemo and end up fighting for your life. Take that day off work. Cancel your plans and go to the doctors. It is a lot less inconvenient to have to put a few hours on hold to get yourself checked, than to put your life on hold. I am aware I am a cancer patient telling you this and it is painfully cliche, but do not be an idiot, It can happen to anyone. Check thorough, check often. Apologies for the tough love. |
A ' no holds' page about my life with incurable advanced Breast Cancer, in the hope it will give a realistic, detailed account to other young women going through the unfortunate illness.
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