3) Pre-diagnosis: The Biopsy"Tassia Haines?", the shrill yet friendly voice startled me so much I nearly let go on the front of my robe, revealing all. I hurriedly grabbed my things and pulled myself toward the small smiling nurse standing in the darkened doorway. Upon entering the Biopsy room, I left behind the friendly pastel of the waiting room and found myself submerged by a very dark grey room, looking up from the floor I was greeted with five nervous pairs of eyes all looking directly at me. They introduced themselves as the Radiographer, the Specialist, my soon to be Consultant, the student and the nurse. All eagerly awaiting for me to strip off and see my ultrasound scan, clipboard in hand. Now was not the time to be shy! And yet again, there I was lying on the cold hard recliner, beginning to feel how oddly familiar this was all getting. The Radiographer done her best to be gentle but the hard downward squeezing on my breasts and nipples was not helping my squeamishness and I wriggled about involuntary, so the nurse grabbed my arm, to keep me in position. Then I could see my primary tumour, in all its angry glory up on the pixelated black and white screen, I peered down to see the doctors scribbling away. The Consultant looked oddly grey in the unforgiving lighting as she objectively studied the on screen images over her thin glasses. They then all agreed to leave me alone for the Biopsy. The Nurse wiped off the ultrasound jelly as I looked up to the small window near the ceiling, it was the only light source in the room. The fluffy, cloudy February sky rolled in a dull grey atmosphere through the narrow window, in the corner of my right eye I could see the the Radiographer adapting the aesthetic in preparation for my biopsy. "Small sharp scratch coming", she whispered as the small pinch stung my breast. This one wasn't so bad. Then to my horror she pulled out what I can only describe as the biggest needle I have seen, it was attached to small machine. The nurse read my mind and comforted me in the knowledge that it would not hurt, upon the first needle being lined up for the first stab, I looked up to the nurse and started talking what could only be described as absolute bollocks. "Got any dogs?", before she could answer I felt the first stab penetrate my sensitive tissue... "OWWW". I can describe the force and noise similar to that of a hard stable gun, the blood dripped out violently from the incision and I endured this twice again in my breast and twice under my arm. The nurse struggled to keep efficient control of the bleeding as we giggled "Red heads bleed more", and soon after I was upright on the recliner eager to leave as she kept me there to make sure I was 'calm'. Upon entering the land of the light walls again, I was quickly reunited with Nick in the consultation room, where I first met Julie the Cancer nurse and the consultant form the dark room, who looked a lot friendlier in this light. I was warned there was a chance I had cancer although it could have been a number of things first. I was ushered not to go into work that night as I would have been at risk of internal bleeding and tearing, but soon after my incisions cleared up, normality ensued. Me the day after the Biopsy. Feb 27th 2016.
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A ' no holds' page about my life with incurable advanced Breast Cancer, in the hope it will give a realistic, detailed account to other young women going through the unfortunate illness.
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